gypsies and mormons

this will be my last post on blogger............

the new url is http://stolenbikedynasty.wordpress.com/

just like pretty young blondes who convert disillusioned kids to the Church of Latter Day Saints, CL from Riverdale Palm Trees has converted me to wordpress. The new beta blogger layout (yuk!) combined with the cool google search stats feature (a person typed in "Dating White Girls" to get to Riverdale Palm Trees and we also found out how many of our friends google themselves) prompted the move

the online gypsy caravan has been in effect before, mostly from email urls. ahhh lets see my first email address was phatkan@hungover.com, then there was willieboy84@gocubs.com and the email that I used throughout highschool and college was migrantfarmer@ilovecrayons.com, ha all i can say about the emails i printed up when crayola closed down this url is:

Drama
Drama
Drama
PRACTICE

anyways i'm rushing to play my SEC Championship game against Florida, so here are highlights in point form of my 56-13 blowout against BYU:

p.s. I like mormons, they are my favorite strict religion and ya I like Steve Young and I used to have a semi crush on Julie Stoffer from Real World New Orleans (she had similar features of someone i knew)

- 3rd string Greg Montgomery QB played the first series of the game, he went 0-3, but got to play again in the 4th quater and finished with 116 yards and 1 TD
- Terrence Graves had 5 total TDs; 10-12 for 171 yards and 2 TDs, 39 yards rushing 3 TDs
- rushing against the 3-5-3 is tough
- top rusher was 4th string RB Carlos Roberts (FR from Orange County) he had one rush for a 52 yard TD
- Canadian WR Kenny Thornton had 5 catches for 128 yards and 2 TDs

Aaron Mikulec is in the running for best DEF player and best LB. Behind him are two LBs from Oklahoma. Both Bama and Oklahoma have conference championship games. So these awards will probably be determined by their performances at these games. USC finished undefeated and is probably hoping for a Bama or Oklahoma loss.

And to close out my career here on blogger, I must say that there are many things I hate about Vancouver but their are a couple I'm proud of: new life, i developed a better appreciation of all things toronto and my friends and fam, cheap sushi, main st., commercial drive, work basketball league, cooking with TS, the 84 Bus, half asian chicks who sleep with me, drink specials, 2003-2005 wednesday nights at the main legion, eastvan theatre, a day trip to seattle is better than a day trip to buffalo, and my bike that Joy gave me, but i have never been more proud of my adopted city than when I found out that gypsies have been robbing jewlery stores in the lower mainland. I'm sorry I'm tearing up...




SEE YALL ON WORDPRESS, ROLL TIDE

sanchez dirty in iron bowl win

Seth Sanchez finally had his breakout game. An 80 yard TD in the 2nd quarter put momentum in Bama's favor. McCullar followed up the freshman's run with an INT TD, paving the way for Alabama's 40-17 victory. Graves played most of the game at QB going 9-13 for 121 yards and 1 TD (to SR Curry) but the focus was on the run which tired out Auburn's D; run stats below:

Ferguson 127 yards
Sanchez 90 yards 1 TD
Coles 51 yards 1 TD

All SRs were immpressive in their tearful last game in Tuscaloosa. Bama will now celebrate by taking a trip to Provo Utah to face 1-9 BYU. Coach Namath promises a mormon girl to each non-married Tide member. Florida in on the horrizon, but for now its party time BYU style. However McCullar is already calling out Oklahoma WR star Jonathan Young: After scoring his TD, McCullar pulled out a sharpie and wrote "Jonathan Young's sister" on the ball and started to dry hump it.


McCullar returning an INT for a TD he later dry humped the ball

notes:
Bama's strength of schedule is looking good as West Virginia and Arkansas still only have one loss. Both loss to the Tide earlier in the year by 3 points.

bama clinches SEC West

Bama clicnhed the SEC West title with a 16-10 victory over LSU. Do not let the close score fool you, this game was sloppy. It started out well as Terrence Graves rushed for 65 yards and was 3-3 for 23 yards in the 1st quarter, however he sprained his elbow and was out for the game. Spicer came in but played horribly. Starting LT Jordan Johnson was suspeneded for the game for missing a mandatory workout, so in came Peter McCullough, this year's Anthony Muir Scholarship recipient. And in typcial Tony style, he sucked and was pushed around by the LSU RE all game. Seth Sanchez would score the only Tide TD in this fumble fest and for once on NCAA 07 , it was the CPU team that had fumblelitis. It got to the point where LSU fumbled the ball twice in the last 2 minutes of the 4th quarter. Out of respect, I punted the ball back to them on 1st down. I could not let the game end with back to back CPU fumbles, even though it has happened to the User team countless times before. This sets up a matchup in Atlanta against SEC East champs Florida. But Auburn and BYU are still left in the regular season.

There could be a possible rematch of the 2011 national title game which saw Oklahoma beat Alabama in OT. Half black half native OU WR Jonathan Young of Pontotoc, Mississippi, (who is well aware that his route from MS to OK is smiliar to that of his ancestor's on the Trail of Tears) is the frontrunner for the Heisman and he is already talking smack about the Alabama secondary. "Those carpetbaggers Mills and McCullar and them scalawag safties ain't got nothin' on this relocated country boy". Young is a 19th century American History major.

Also of note I would like to officially welcome Mike and his UCLA dynasty into the wiki. Hahaha sucker and although not as hardcore as us, Jeff A.K.A. S.O. lost in the national title in his OU dynasty to USC, on a SAFETY.

With an early commitment from army brat Marcus Minor, the #1 rated QB from Fort Bliss, TX (if you haven't read about Fort Bliss, you should), I am wondering if I should stop recruiting the #2 QB Jeremy Hood of Cinncinati. At 6'2 205 and with 4.52 speed, Hood is a Terrence Graves clone. However our scouts tell us that he has poor discipline and poor potential. He is straight thuggin and is the polar opposite of the military man Minor. Also from the start of the year, he has had Bama #1 on his list. I want to avoid a controversey at QB, but at the same time I am afraid that Minor may go off to fight terror. Boosters, what's your take?

Also I need Grossman, Berian, Chicago D & Thomas Jones not to get 50 pool points in order for me to advance to the semi finals in my work fantasy football pool. Go Rams

cupcake tuneup

wow, NFL was pretty fun today. Vince and Leinart were sick. The Cards / Seahawks (forever the butt end of jokes) I must say play the most exciting football out there. Anyways back to important news. Hopefully tonight I will play LSU, after then its Auburn. Yup: Tigers squared. End of the year always proves to be tough in my Dynasty, but this year I added BYU for fun, so that I could have a snow game and stick it to Mormons.

Leading up into the game of the week against 8-1 LSU, I had two cupcake games which proved no problem, except for the fact that there appears to be a controversy for the #2 WR spot. FR Anthony Thomas who was #6 on the depth chart, all of sudden progressed 5 points to an 85 rating. With his speed and agility there was no way I could keep him out of the lineup. Canadian Kenny Thornton (pictured right) established himself as the #1 guy, he broke an Alabama single game reception record vs. Miss St. And SR Lawrence Curry who returns punts and kickoffs is fine at #3. However Freshmen Chris Richard and Thomas along with SOs David Wayne and Wes Holey all have about the same ability. And all except Richard (he's a nice guy) are demanding the ball. Anyways their performance in the LSU and Auburn games will most likely determine their futures at Alabama. Key stats below, enjoy:

Alabama 52, Mississippi St 7 Tuscaloosa

Spicer 9-10, 156 yards 2TDs
Graves 14-18, 190 yards 3TDs
Ferguson 100 yards
Thornton 12rec 213 yards 3TDs (school rec for single game rec)

Alabama 38, Vanderbilt 10 Nashville

Spicer 8-12, 118 yards 1TD
Graves 9-12, 95 yards 2TDs; 47 yards rushing
Ferguson 130 yards 2TDs
Anthony Thomas 3rec 63 yards 1TDs (The TD was sick, he juked past everyone)

k I'm going home to watch Saints / Cowboys

MARCUS MINOR, fort bliss, tx,

Terrence Graves will most likely stay for his 5th year and will be the starter at QB for the 2013 season. However the future signal caller is Marcus Minor of Fort Bliss, Texas, the #1 rated QB. At 6'3 232 and with 4.6 speed, this guy is a machine. No seriously, this guy might be an actual robot or a genetically cloned military experiment. Spanning 1.12 million acres (size of Rhode Island) Fort Bliss is the largest military base on US soil. Not much is known about Minor, except for the fact that his parents are high ranking officers. Minor, who turned down Texas A & M (no female cheerleaders!) also played LB and is the 2nd 915 (not to be confused with ginofied 905) superstar to sign with the Tide, Socorro's Seth Sanchez was the first. Marcus is also a weapons specialist and he enjoys watching missle tests at the White Sands Missle Range, which is located by Fort Bliss. Now I have motivation to play this game for at least 3 more Dynasty years.

defensive disharmony

bama is 7-0, Spicer and Graves have no problem with the 2 QB system. Not since the Choctow indians provided $710 worth of relief to Ireland during the potato famine, has racial harmony been so high. Unfortunately the same harmony can not be said of the Alabama defense. The picture to the right taken at the Tennessee game says it all: CB David McCullar clearly has the INT, but LB Aaron Mikulec (who is in the heisman race) and FS Alphonso Cole, are trying to jack him of his glory.While the D is on the verge of becoming the greatest ever, the clashing of egos and personalities are becoming a problem in the locker room. The safties, Stephen Schilcher and Cole are straight country hicks who like fishing; they hate the NYC suburban / wannabe Queens attitude by CBs McCullar and Mills. Meanwhile LBs Mikulec and Gavin Lee are pure blue collar and they too hate M & Ms swagger and have even threatened them at various off campus parties. Of course all this info and more on each player's individual profiles on the wiki

Prior to matchup with Tennessee, thrash talking McCullar was charged with plagiarism. The University wanted him out for 2 games, but Namath only suspeneded him for the first half. "The Vols WRs are tough" was Coach Namath's response. The score was tied 14-14 at the end of the second quarter, but once McCullar stepped in, and Tennessee's passing game was shut down. McCullar played the game of his life and he reminded everyone about it, including his own teammates.

"You hicks ain't nothing without me"

"East coast, what!"

"The southern man, does need me around, anyhow"

"Jersey all up in this Jefferson Davis shit"

Aaron Mikulec (a proud southerner) almost lost it and called him a "carpetbagger", but Coach Namath took him to the side and forced him to listen to Joanna Newsom to calm down. "Bridges and Ballons" is a personal favorite of his. He loves harps. But still Bama won 28-14, OLB Darrell "crowbar" Johnson had 10 tackles and 2 sacks and was all over the field, he has stayed out of jail all year. However with LSU and Auburn coming up, Namath better purchase a couple more copies of "Ys" to calm everyone down.

ebony and ivory

play this in another window while reading this post

Ebony and Ivory
Live together in perfect harmony
Side by side on my piano keyboard
Oh Lord, why don't we ?

If Governor George C. Wallace had a crystal ball and could look into the future to see the two QB system work effectively in my Dynasty, he might not have been standing in the doorways at the University of Alabama. Instead he might have been holding a rainbow colored "Welcome" sign. When African American Terrence Graves beat out our forefather's ideal American Travis Spicer for the starting spot, the more conservative members of Alabama's fanbase were outraged. The emotionally unstable Spicer did not care as over the years he has developed a love of academics, but pressure from his parents to make the NFL has forced him to stay on the football team.

Regardless coach Namath vowed to use a two QB system and thus far it has led Alabama to a 7-0 record and a #1 ranking. Avoiding the Wright / Zelmon conflict over at Riverdale Palm Trees, Spicer and Graves have developed a mutual respect for each other. Namath usually starts Graves, while Spicer spends the 1st quarter working on his paper "The Banana Effect: Why the Asian Girl wants to be white." Spicer comes in when the opposing team's SPY is working effectively and when a long bomb is needed. They don't even go after the same women anymore: Graves likes hispanic girls, while Spicer likes Asians, both rare commodities at the University of Alabama. Before they always competed for the affection of the white sorority girls who were turned down by then starting QB Chad Arnold. However they both had WS 205 Women's Autobiographies on their class schedule and they were forced to read Smashed by Koren Zailckas which made them feel bad about taking advantage of girls who funneled beer on a daily basis. Woooooooooooooo, SPRING BREAK 2000!

Here are the top offensive stats from the last two games (the defensive story to come later, hint: not as much harmony):

Alabama 35, Ole Miss 14 - Tuscaloosa
Graves 9-13 98 yards, 60 yards rushing 1 TD
Spicer 6-9 61 yards, 1 TD
Ferguson 123 yards 1 TD
Sanchez 53 yards 2 TDs

Alabama 28, Tennessee 14 - Knoxville
Graves 4-9 70 yards, 29 yards rusing
Spicer 7-12 95 yards 1 TD, 1 RUSHING TD!
Ferguson 84 yards
FB Coles 2 TDs


Spicer taking advice from Graves to rush the ball if no one is open, Racial Harmony at its finest! Ebony and Ivory!

korean kids love uga

the match against youtube message board fascist Oregon St will have to wait one year, i totally forgot that i had taken them out of the schedule and put in an end of the year week 14 match at BYU so I could play in the snow and stick it to mormons. i love their women though.

it was a rematch from the 2011 SEC title game which was an epic battle with Alabama winning 24-21. UGA pretty much returned the same cast led by QB Ed Durfee (the highest rated QB in 2012).He gave the Tide's stellar D(yes I know such an Eastvan word) trouble going 20-31 for 302 yards and 2 TDs, while rushing for 1 TD as well. But thats all UGA was, a one man show. Just look below at the QB and RB stats to see how spread out the Bama offense was

QBs
Spicer 6-8-116
Graves 6-11-109-1; 37 yards rush

RBs
Ferguson 64 yards 1 TD
FB Coles 64 yards 1 TD

WR Kenny Thronton (from the K-dub) was 4-79-1 in a tough 30-21 Bama victory. A possible national title rematch good be in the works as OU won the Red Rivershootout over Texas 56-17. Now enjoy these young Korean UGA fans singing dixie:

fast

okay we all know that "Kiss Me" by sixpence non the richer is my favorite song of all time, so here is that very song really fast:


also you know what else is fast.... The 2012 Crimson Tide Defence. I had to replace a lot of players from last year, but I am loving this squad because it features a bunch of 1st time starters who are 5th year SRs (DT Crewes, DT Christian, MLB Lee, CB Mills) giving them only one chance to shine. I also have a sweet secondary even though they don't get along off the field. Thrash talking CBs Eddie Mills and David McCullar are NY/NJ kids who love Jay Z, while Safeties Schilcher (who is white) and Alphonso Cole are southern country kids with heavy drawls who enjoy fishing. There is also my nutcase, alcoholic OLB Aaron Mikulec ,who is your stereotypical long haired white Linebacker. He is also my first player ever to be put on the Heisman list. And he's on Defense too!

So far I am 6-0 and holding onto my #2 ranking thanks to my D(individual game updates to come). OLB Darrell Johnson (who is on parole for a crowbar incident back in h.s. involving super FR Alex Branch) achieved the Defensive Hatrick (FF / INT/ SACK) last game against Ole Miss.

another typical friday night: Bama wins

alright, once again spent a friday night working late, and another bus ride on the way back home ease dropping to various kids's cellphone conversations about "how much they're going drink" or "who they want to sleep with". And I don't know if its just that I'm getting older but these kids seem like the loudest ones on the bus. But hey, no hate, just jealousy, I miss those times when I was the drunk kid on the bus going to some random house party. Regardless I've grown up and now spend my off time playing NCAA Football and blogging about it, and man this Friday night did not disappoint.

As usual Arkansas was my 1st SEC opponent and they are always ranked and always undefeated. With SVSW out of the way, it was now time to focus on the SEC West title. And my Defense was sloppy as was my running game. I was down 21-10 at the end of the first half, but the 3rd quarter started with a 105 yard kickoff return for a TD by SR WR Lawrence Curry. Curry (pictured right) was just a two star athlete out of h.s. but he has worked his way to the #3 WR. Definitely a personal favorite of mine. From this point on Terrence Graves took over, throwing for 125 yards and 1 TD, while rushing for 100 and 1 TD against a very tough Arkansas D. K Justin Brooks hit the 2nd game winner of his career for a 31-28 Bama victory. FR Chris Richard was not having the same success as Jason Weaver; he dropped a lot of catches in his 1st SEC game, and a road game too. SR Lawrence Curry, identical SO's Wes Holley and David Wayne all stepped up in the clutch, making Richard's spot as the #2 WR not so certain. But he's okay with that because he's a good guy.

Hopefully Richard will get his confidence back up in a non-conference matchup in Corvallis against Oregon St. Their fans have been giving CL a hardtime on youtube message boards. (Wow 445 views and 12 comments as of post time, people are watching) They are jerks, but in a good way. Nice soundtrack.

Working all weekend but will hopefully get a break to catch the SEC Championship and USC vs UCLA. Oh and the cory infatuation is put on hold as I have a new pseudo celeb crush, just look at my myspace top 5 and for once she's over 18 and not so well known (more on her later)