corygate: part 1 & 2011 schedule

I'm still trying to act pseudo detective here and figure out why Cory Kennedy is getting all this attention. With all the random media attention she's been getting like Gawker's column Blue States Lose, where they talk about Cory on a regular basis, it seems as if she was planted into the world much like lonelygirl15. Also at the Lily Allen concert in L.A. early this month, with an audience that featured the likes of Lindsay Lohan, Orlando Bloom and that girl who was once with No Doubt (WARNING: Link has hipster content overload) why was New York Magazine more concerned as to whether or not the "underage 'It' girl sidekick" was in the crowd. But the most compelling evidence in the case against Cory Kennedy is the photo, above right. Look closely at what her friend is wearing. Yes my friends that is a Boston Celtics jersey. We all know that the Boston Celtics and Los Angeles Lakers are fierce rivals popularized by legends such as:


Bill Walton

Kurt Rambis

Los Angeles people are some of the most loyal sports fans in the universe. So why would this Santa Monica native be hanging out with a Celtics fan. I'm guessing that Cory is from a suburb in Boston. You're not fooling anyone with that last name honey.

Anyways, I played my spring game yesterday with the White squad beating the Crimson squad (mostly starters) 35-21. Steve Ferguson was outstanding running for 138 yards and 1 TD, Josh Reese only ran the ball 6 times, but they were for 30 yards and 1 TD. Reese will be named opening day starter though as his rating went all the way to 97. Ferguson is at 95, giving Alabama the two best running backs in the nation. Meanwhile the LT and OLB spots are still close battles and won't be determined until after the season opener against UAB. JUCO Stephen Schilcher beat out Chris Christian for the SS spot, but they too will split duties. Below is the schedule for the 2011 season with interesting visits to Tucson and C-Bus

UAB
at Arizona
#16 Utah
#20 Arkansas
at # 25 Florida
at #7 Ohio St.
at Ole Miss
#24 Tennessee
Vanderbilt (HC)
at Mississippi St.
#13 LSU
#22 Auburn

Bama travels to Tucson for the 1st annual South by Southwest challenge. While the Ohio St match up was forced upon by network executives from ABC who have several TV specials of the week surrounding the life of former Buckeye Josh Reese. There are also cameos on Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy in the works. As anyone can see the SEC is tough with several teams in the pre-season Top 25, however Bama is predicted to take the Conference

cheers


In Rambis We Trust

p.s. yes i know that the Hiro Ballroom is in New York and that the Lohan Bloom spottings were in L.A,, its called a media bias, jerks!

cory kennedy: hipster paris or the fashion world's lonelygirl15

And the new Stolenbike internet obsession is..............................

Santa Monica's Cory Kennedy!

Now I live in Pacific Northwest, so yes if you are from New York or L.A. and you stumbled upon here, I realize that I'm a couple months behind. But this girl has been seen with everyone from Mischa Barton to Mike Tyson. So who is Corey Kennedy you ask? Well as of post time, she has yet to have an entry in wikipedia but she's slowly becoming one of the most talked about teens on the internet, generating both positive and negative buzz. (This Live Journal entry is really funny) Regardless people are talking about Cory. Her look and style is the stuff that East Van women dream of, and she even has one individual creating her on the Sims. More importantly though she has over 1000 friends on her myspace and is already on my Top 8. And what has she done? Absolutely nothing, except show up in several party photos on her boyfriend's website. Who by the way is well over the age of 16. Sober, drunk, or drugged you be the judge. But basically the music video that she stars in, pretty much sums up all that she does, eat and do nothing. Hey does that remind yall of someone?

Being lazy myself, I appreciate those who succeed in life by doing nothing. Why else haven't I left my current job yet. That's why I admire people like Paris Hilton, Luc Longley, Glenn Healy and Kevin Federline. But is she the next Paris or the next lonelygirl15. Paris had the sex tape . Cory has that Lolita mystique where rumors even aroused of a relationship with 45 year old Vincent Gallo. But there are just as many plotholes in her story as there were in the lonelygirl15 saga, which makes me wonder if she's just some party girl with famous friends or if she is the creation of someone at some big time fashion company's marketing department. First of all this girl is all over the internet and even absentee parents google their kids. Basically every picture of Cory has her hammered or coked out of her mind. So why haven't these people who post these photos or who let her into their clubs been arrested yet. Another weird thing was that out of nowhere she got a fashion spread on Nylon magazine and stars in a music video. Love her or hate her I'm pretty sure this won't be the last you'll hear of Cory Kennedy.

So while I debate whether or not Cory is real or not, I have a much tougher decision with the various position battles for 2011 in my Dynasty. Here's quick recaps of the battles to come:

HB
JR Steve Ferguson has established himself as a star with back to back 1000 yard rushing years, however high profile Ohio St transfer SR Josh Reese is what many say Clarett could have been.

LT
Last year 3 star JUCO Keith Williams occupied this position and did a terrible job. This year the job is up for grabs with 5 underclassman fighting it out for the starting spot.

LOLB
No one will ever replace Michael Poppinga, but SOs Nathan Willis & Darrell Johnson will have to fend off incoming Freshman Jacob Pears and Daniel Johnson (no relation to Darrell)

SS
This will be the biggest battle. Greg Robertson graduated with no decent backup so recruiting brought in FR Chris Christian of South Carolina and JUCO Stephen Schilcher , both rated 82.

cheers

p.s. I found out from my roomate that "arised" is not a word, man you learn a new thing everday

Josh Reese: The Life & Alabama Cotton Picking.........

c'mon get your head out of the gutter, I wasn't talking about you know what but rather how two key PICK OFFs by SRs Derek Green and Greg Robertson led to a 41-21 Cotton Bowl victory over the #11 Nebraska Cornhuskers. QB Chad Arnold was near perfect going 14-16 for 192 yards and 2 TDs, but the MVP went to SO HB Steve Ferguson who ran for 139 yards and 2 TDs. Ferguson had to impress with Josh Reese coming into the mix next season. All Seniors on Defence basically shut down Nebraska's pass game. Very sad to see FS Green, SS Robertson, CB Jimmy Fernandez and LOLB Michael Poppinga leave, however they've set the standard at Bama and a Madden Franchise is in the works so we'll see how they do in the NFL. Rawls ended his up and down Bama career with 2 tackles and 1 sack, but his pass rush frustrated Nebraska's QB

So it was a bit of a disappointing season finishing 9-4 and a #15 ranking, however it was my first year on Heisman and LSU and Auburn were sick. Here are some quick end of season notes:

- Penn State wins their 2nd National Title in my Dynasty. With the help of Heisman winner HB Fred Lewis, PSU beat ASU 38-17.
- Auburn HB Ben Tate ends career with 5441 yards and 62 TDs
- Two QBs in 100 TD club: PSU's Pat Devlin (real life player) - 108 and ASU's Joey McIntyre (#2 QB out of H.S. and Kansas City native) -104
- Alabama had no All Americans, but JR Joel Thompson who missed 4 games, finished with 51-887-7 and basically all of Bama's receiving records.
- Bama signed 8 four star recruits. 7 of them are from Alabama while the lone out of stater was TE Trevor Young of Los Angeles, California. Young has been seen throughout his high school career with the girl pictured to the right of Paris (more on the Hipster Hilton: Cory Kennedy later) He was recruited by USC but his parents wanting him to get away from the Echo Park & Silverlake scene, forced him to go to Alabama for some discipline.

Other than the NFL Draft, the biggest news is the arrival of Josh Reese. Here is a look of his statistics at Ohio St

2007 - N/A
2008 - N/A
2009 - 930 yards 7 TDs 7.8 YRDS/CAR & 1 National Title (he split duties with real life Buckeye Chris Wells)
2010 - transfers to Alabama.

He was academically ineligible his first two years but he tore it up in 2009 helping the Bucs win a National Title. However one night while playing drinking Jenga he hit Alum Greg Oden in the knee with a hockey stick signed by Jody Shelley. Apparently Oden said that Rick Nash was a better Blue Jacket. He was immediately kicked out of school and things got worse when he tried to get several members of the Ohio State women's volleyball team to point shave and the less attractive members to simply just "shave". (Meghan Simons plays volleyball there)

As a result he was forced to attend a Detention Center in the Cleveland suburb of Shaker Heights where he befriended an ex-security guard who happened to be an ex-football player for John Carroll University. All Reese talked about was how much he hated football and that all he wanted to do was train dogs for fighting, gamble and have sex with freshman. Upset with this wasted talent, the security guard sent him to live with one of his cousin's friends in LA. Through the friend and his Buckeye Alum wife, Reese learned to appreciate football once again as he was forced to stay out of troubleand play 60 years in a NCAA Dynasty and blog about it on a daily basis. The only incident in LA was when he punched this L.A. photographer in the face for taking photos of him and his new friends at the Griddle Cafe. The friend and wife gave Bama a call and Namath decided to give him a chance despite the depth a RB. Namath himself orginally signed with Maryland but failed to qualify academically, Bear Bryant gave him a chance and the rest is history. Oh ya G Tommy Jones awaits graduation as his final project on troubled players Rawls and Rees is currently being graded. His NFL Draft evaluation is dependent on a passing grade from this project. For more on Alabama Psychology visit here.

Arizona St. Girls and STDs

Watch this video first and listen to the comments about ASU girls from the four blonde U of A girls.


Yes Arizona State and STDs. Stolenbike Total Domination! Thats what they were talking about, right?

Much to the chagrin of CL, TM, and a bunch of other stragglers, Arizona St is a powerhouse in my Dynasty. They will play another powerhouse in Penn St. for the 2010 Stolenbike Dynasty National title. This is the 3rd time in three years in which the Sun Devils will play for the National Title. They won the National title in 2006 and oddly enough played Penn St, but loss the Title game in 2007.

In other news LSU missed out on their shot to be in the big game with an upset loss to Arkansas. However they still made the trip to Atlanta and won the SEC Championship with a 55-24 victory over Tennessee. West Virginia and Houston were the only other undefeated teams. And earlier in the season, 4 year starter, G Tommy Jones, saw a dip in his grades and it was recommended that he sit out 2 games. But putting football ahead of academics, Coach Namath instead forced him to major in psychology and he is now assigned to do reports on two of Bama's most troubled players: DE Quentin Rawls and incoming HB Josh Reese, for his final project. Reese, the troubled transfer from Ohio St. was the #1 HB out of High School. The Ohio native sat out the 2010 season and will only have one year of eligibility, however he will challenge for the starting HB position. Reese was seen laughing during the LSU and Auburn losses. Jones's reports on Reese and Rawls coming soon!. By the way RAPTORS undefeated in PRESEASON!!!!!

5th year seniors lead Auburn to 1st Iron Bowl win (in my Dynasty that is)

It was bad enough that Bama would not repeat as SEC champs, but Joe Namath's undefeated streak of 4-0 in the Iron Bowl came to an end Led by a trio of (real life) 5th year seniors in QB Neil Caudle, HB Ben Tate (pictured left) & WR Tim Hawthorne Auburn marched on to a 34-24 victory. Though throughout the game, there was a three/four point differential that saw several lead changes. New unexpected stars emerged for Bama as Auburn shut down all of my star players. Top rated WR SO Brandon Luke and his 93 Overall rating was no match for Auburn CB SR Joel Robertson (A guy i tried to recruit). Robertson was on him like glue,as Luke had ZERO receptions. However the #4 WR, SO Kenny Thornton of Kitchener, ON had a key 55 yard TD REC that put momentum in Bama's favour. Also dime DB SO Ernie Mills made up for a muffed punt (he wasn't even the Punt Returner) by Intercepting a pass for a TD. However there was one big problem and his name was Ben Tate. Tate (who will be sick in real life once Irons graduates) capped his College career by running for 156 yards and 3 TDs. The victory earned Auburn a Fiesta Bowl bid, while 8-4 Bama faces a tough 11-2 Nebraska team in the Cotton Bowl.

In tribute to Auburn's exceptional performance I present to you (bad vid quality sorry) an Auburn belle beer bonging it at Washington State

major disappointments

Life brings you ups and downs, but disappointment hit hard this past Sunday. Not only did I partake in a viewing of Sofia Copolla's Marie Antoinette, but an important game was lost in my Dynasty against LSU, which knocked me out of the SEC West title and a chance to repeat as SEC champs.

I hate to admit it but I really like Sofia Copolla. Yes I know nepotism plays a big part in her so called "indie career" but Lick the Star (part 1 & part 2) was decent for a student flick, Virgin Suicides was alright and I wasn't one of the people who gave Sofia a hard time during the Q & A at TIFF for her negative portrayal of Japanese citizens in Lost in Translation (those may or may not have been my friends and family). So I ignored the negative reviews and I figured that anything that was booed by the French had to be good. And $40 million dollars later, we're provided with a two hour photography exhibit with recycled shots from VS and LIT (Sofia loves the "moving vehicle shots" and the Kirsten lying in the grass sideways" shots) and with only about 10 pages worth of dialogue ( I stole that). - Yes thats Kirsten at a USC game, with a USC scarf! - And let's not forget her big narrative cop out. (I don't understand why "richard-877" called me an idiot. Please help explain to me.) Anyways I had high expectations for this and wow was I disappointed.

Things turned worse with my loss to LSU. There was nothing I could do. The Tigers were just the better team and I hope they win the National Title. Things got bad in the second quarter, as QB Chad Arnold sprained his ankle and would be out for the game. But his backup SO Travis Spicer, a Jersey kid, was no slouch. He threw a 56 yard bomb early to Brandon Luke for his first career passing TD. Luke finished with 6-137-1, while Joel Thompson was 8-136-1. Spicer was 17-28 for 252 yards and 2 TDs. But LSU's star WR JR Issac Doty was unstoppable. He caught 6 passes for 103 yards and 3 TDs, two of which came early in the 3rd quarter, making it tough for Bama to come back. LSU is now the only team I have a losing record against in my Dynasty at 3-2. The Iron Bowl is next against a decent Auburn#17 (8-2) team, with real life players QB Neil Caudle, RB Ben Tate and WR Tim Hawthorne all being 5th year Seniors (rated 95+) in my Dynasty and all dominating the SEC in most stat categories.

Another major disappointment this in year in my Dynasty has been the lack in production from superstar DE SR Quentin Rawls. The London, Ontario native started as a FR and had a breakthrough SO year with 6 sacks and ALL SEC honors. But it was his JR year where he became a 1st Team All American with 10 sacks and 16 TLs. Even though he is rated 99 overall, Rawls has been in a slump all year with OTs having their way with him. Going into the Iron Bowl he sits at 9 Tackles and 3 sacks. JR Jason Parker of TX, has become the key player on the Tide's DL. Rumour has it that it is not jealousy of Parker but rather the BCS screwjob from last year, that has him in his funk. He has lost all faith in College Football as the blocking all of sudden seems much better and it seems like he's just waiting to get drafted in Madden 07 on an NFL Team. He's only still at Bama to get his degree for his Aunt.Meanwhile his DL mates JRs Brandon Quinn and Zach Saint Preux, both black Mississippi country boys, said in unison "It gots more to do with us not letting him play Soca music and dance hall reggae" Stolenbikedynasty is working on an interview with Rawls, but he threatened to shoot us.

Monday Tailgate Video

I'll be tailgating in Seattle this Saturday, so I figure I'd show a video a day this week about tailgating. This Penn State clip I stole, sorry I meant cut and pasted, from my 2nd favorite college football blog, everday should be saturday. Much better than the dance 360, RIP.



btw, I loss to LSU 18-28, it was a crazy game, but lots to tell later, Iron Bowl Preview, Quentin Rawls feature and more youtube fun. Later tonight!